I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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