Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
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My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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