I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
