He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
