Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
