I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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