Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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