did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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