U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
