Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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