1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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