Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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