She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
