I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
