ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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