man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
