were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
