we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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