no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
