with your own penis?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize