Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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