Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
