either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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