roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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