Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
