Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
