does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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