She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
wow bdsm is so cute
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
