dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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