She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize