He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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