I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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