You're so nebulous sometimes
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
