This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
