We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
