You really coming over, don't trick.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
