i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
