During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
