i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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