Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
