Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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