The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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