this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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