I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
