I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
