he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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