if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
