naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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