actually, I'm a sock model
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
