dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
