do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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