Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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