literally had 100 drinks last night.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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