It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Sorry about my life...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize