I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Come on in and take your pants off
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