you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
