Sponge bath it is.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
